like dylan in the movies.

Yeah you're worth the trouble, and you're worth the pain
and you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I would love you over
I would love you

watching over the emtpy battlefield

So, insomnia. It kinda sucks. But
at least there are no dreams. Damn.

I though it would come eventually, but honestly I had forgot.
Without the despair, without the fear of what will come
when life doesn't seems to be crumbling anymore
or all the pieces have already fallen, waiting to be rearranged
(much like my bedroom floor)

Now I miss him. And now I can appreciate him.
Now it hurts in a much more subtle way, and it seems to linger on.

FUCK YOU

fuck, I'm so fucking alone.

well hello, horribly pathetic world. it's been a while. do you hate me too?
would you let me in?
hell at least i'm trying something, as lame as it may be.
-
I actually want to just kick him in the face. Like, repeatedly.
With really high sharp heels.
-
god I'm so horribly numb. I actually can't see a thing outside me.
Me me me me me. Not fun.

sh.

que es un soplo la vida..

She's making dinner for two (three?) while he's playing guitar, taking a shower, or god knows what.
She's singing a song while watching the rice (her son playing on the kitchen floor).

"Mi vieja cantaba, a veces, un tango, y sus ojos se llenaban de otro lugar"

dreams.

Oh my god, I can almost see it. Can you?
Close my eyes and.. there it is.
A house full of light. The sound of children laughing.
A home made piece by piece. A life.. together.

Let it rest for a little while.
It's just a dream.
And today's well worth to be lived.

So keep it stored as a beautiful wish until the time comes.

trying to get it off my head.

- The thing is, if you were in fact in love with her, which you haven't
denied -repeatedly-, so I'm assuming you were, why did you avoid telling me
about her? It's not like I didn't ask.

I know it's nothing. I know I'm being irrational and I know it would be the stupidest thing to ruin something this good over a stupid little thing on his past, specially when we've overcame mine. But, then again, I haven't got the slightest idea if it's just a stupid little thing.
First love is no stupid little thing. Although, many times it is sorta stupid.

Rambling calms me. The Chandler thing, pf.
I just can't get it out of my mind. And I am, god, terrified.

Ooooh please please please deny it. Please please please.

i think he was right.

I'm taking a look at my process.

You know, how did I got to the point in which I was so lonely and fucked up I found comfort on his best friend? I don't think I've wondered that enough.

Anyway, I was checking out my year and it hit me. 

I wasn't unhappy. We weren't disaster. He was right.

Up until the moment I woke up and gained conscience of what I've done, we were on a really good place. We weren't fighting, actually, we had barely fought at all for like, five months.

We were perfectly happy. I mean, not, but I was no sad little girl lost in the woods.

Damn it, I really wish I'd remember that night. It would come in handy to know what the fuck was I thinking.

fucking hormone bomb.

(Meredith is lying on the bathroom floor and Cristina is lying in the bathtub)
Meredith: It's not us, it's them, them and their stupid boy...penises! They didn't tell me they had a wife, they gave me absolutely no warning that they were gonna break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it's business, like it's a business transacti--like he's the boss of me.
Meredith: He is the boss of you.
Cristina: What's worse is that I care.
Meredith: I'm gonna throw up again. (rushes over to the toilet on her knees, and Cristina shuts the shower door) No, wait...false alarm. (Cristina opens the shower door again)
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No, the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know, I used to be all business, then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: With the stupid boy penis.
Cristina: Ugh, now I'm having hormone surges! He ruined me, I'm ruined. He turned me into this fat stupid pregnant girl, who cares. Estrogen.
Meredith: Penises. (Izzie and George walk in the bathroom) Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George. (she holds out a cup and Izzie puts water in it)
George (to Izzie): Okay. What'd I miss?
Izzie: I came home to full out vomit drama. Apparently, she dumped Derek. And her, she's been sleeping with Burke.
George: I knew that. (turns to Meredith) So, you really broke up with Shepherd?
Meredith: I feel empty.
Izzie: Yeah, two hours of vomiting will do that to 'ya.
Meredith: No, I feel empty.
Cristina: You're lucky, I feel pissed off.